Bloomberg Needs To Cayate His Boca, For Real

So with Earth getting the Swine Flu, Mayor Bloomberg decided to give a little conference on that shit. I'm very happy that our little mayor of Nueva Jork has learned spanish sufficiently enough to speak at press conferences, but then reality slapped me upside the head. I couldn't find that particular meeting, but here's another regarding the bomb ass landing of the plane in the Hudson. Take a listen beginning at the ten second mark:



What in the chingada tu madre is he saying?!?! I mean, I know what he's saying, but his accent! C'mon now - while I'm impressed with his dedication to learn, his accent is a big ole fail. He sounds like the people in spanish 1 class who not only can't do the accent...they won't even try. I think that's what bothers me about it. It sounds like he thought it was enough to learn the words. You gotta do the accent! And spanish is a beautiful language. Don't massacre it with your bootleg chinatown accent.

I also think English is the only language you can get away with speaking with any and all accents. Every accent in English sounds good to me. So, what say you, pedejos?

Welcome to All...Except Bad Fashion and Bloomberg's Spanish

Once upon a time, many many moons ago, I had a blog. It was 1994 and it was about the many men I was, ahem! dating.

Shut your mowf. I went on some dates. Most of them may have ended doing things only legal within marriage, but I definitely went to some dinners paid for by these guys. At least drinks!

Sometimes. Movin' on!

The blogging trend caught on across the earth (all because of ME!), but my first blog, lovingly written for all my friends across the country that I found hard to share my exploits with over the phone, was deleted. But that was many moons ago.

Friends urged me over the years to write another one, but due to time, crazier men, work, life, grief, love, whathaveyou, I haven't felt inspired to write a blog. There were the crazy work emails to distract me from the oppression of a crazy boss, but that, too, died down.

Then one day, the Met's Costume Gala 2009 was upon us, along with a host of very bad fashion. My soul stirred. Then my soul did the Wop, sang Protect Ya Neck and couldn't contain itself - the fashion was so excessively bad that I had to write about it...lovingly, fully engaged, as if I was possessed. And then the second sign from blog heaven appeared on NY1.

Mayor Bloomberg spoke Spanish at a news conference.

This, dear reader, is when I could not be contained. So for everyone who thinks I should have a blog - bottoms up, bitches. I am writing again.

The next post will be the email that started it all, and then the curious case of the Bloomberg Spanish is up next.