Following on the smash success of the first Metropolitan Email, I give you the second one....enjoy!
Rachel Bilson - from the waist down, it's ok. The waist up....her hair is blah an her titties are sad. Sad titties need zoloft. zolift, viagra, whatever. I like her snakeskin shoes, but not with the dress. I do like the color of the dress.
Now the caption for this photo said Jessica Alba sparkles in her minidress. Now, before reading the caption, I thought, why does it look like her hair is in rollers and she put on some busted shoes from the 90s? This whole outfit sparkles with yuck. Her shoes and tights remind me of Lisa Loeb. Does it's look like two different dresses ripped apart and then sewn together?
Show them how it's done, Eva Mendez. I know the bottom look like it make need an iron, but this shit is clean, elegant, sexy, classy. I try to embody at least some of those words on a daily basis. So far I've got the clean part down pat!
I'm feeling the color, the hair (anything Barbarella gets the high five)...yet, I can't decide on the dress. I think it's vibrant and different, so that gives it a yay. Not loving the shoes, though. The color is so rich and delicious...Yay Anne Hathaway
So my mom still won't believe me that Cindy Crawford is not a man. And now even I have to wonder if she's on Rupaul's Drag Race. This outfit is a bit of a hot tranny mess, I'm sorry. You know why? The material looks cheap in the picture. And also she looks like a man.
One boob up and one boob down. It's like bi-polar titties. The dress is hot. John Galliano should only wear pirate clothes.
Helena Christensen...really?! What's this dress about? This is some Nancy Kerrigan bs. You're lovely, so wear a lovely dress that doesn't actually have the word Ugle (pronounce Ug-lay) on it. When your dress knows it's busted and tries to say it before you do, then you know it's not right. Although I do love the ankle ties. beautiful ballet heels.
Now they're putting up the cuter photos on the website. Eff that. We're judging the busted ones.